What should I do when my Boyfriend won't meet the family?

If he wants to stay with you, he will have to meet your family at some point. He does not need to like them, but he must be polite. He was very inconsiderate when he 'bailed' on meeting them. He should have spoken to you in advance and talked about why he did not want to meet them. What have you said about your family that caused this fear? obstinacy? As he has not yet met them, it cannot be his impression of them so the fault may lie with you. Your description of them is 'unforgiving and difficult'. Yet you have not cut your ties with your family and are willing to accept them as they are. If you want to stay with him, you will need to decide if you plan to go through life attending family gatherings alone. If he has built a barrier between him and them, it will never get better. Don't expect changes - decide whether this is what you want